GASP!

I just realized today that the number one killer in the world is death... This profound thought came out during a conversation with the Beau when I said the froggy was going to die from death unless he had some crickets. I don't know how one person can handle so many genius ideas, but I somehow manage to get by...

...Moment in Maturity...

I realized this past Saturday that I'm getting a bit more mature or just plain older. Not sure what this means, but I'm going to go with it.

I went on a date to see "Borat:..." and laughed guiltily on more than one occasion throughout the flick. Afterwards, as we were walking along outside the theater in search of an after-flick drink, I couldn't stop shaking my head and spouting I'm-getting-older words:

- Did you see that girl?!?! She must have been about 15-16 years old and she was showing about half of her chest?!?! Cover up!

- Why aren't those girls wearing coats?!?! They must be freezing to death out in this cold!

- Where are those kids' parents? They shouldn't be downtown, walking around like that!

I couldn't stop shaking my head throughout the night. I can't believe Elle and I used to head downtown on a regular basis and party our asses off... we sure have come a long way! BTW - A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS goes out to new mama Elle and her precious baby girl - Lillian Grace... such wonderful happiness!

Word of Advice
If you ever plan to place an online order with FTD.com, make sure your NAME is in the message box; unless you want the gift to be Anonymous! I recently placed an order and failed to add my name to the message box since I did not realize that the message box literally replaced the hard copy of the card that accompanies flowers. Lesson learned.

Mathematical Viewpoint

A special thanks goes out to the Beau for sending me this inspirational note as I try to make it through another workday...
**** ////****////****

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Amen!