Things are ALWAYS bigger in (or on the way to) Tex-ass

Well, currently spending a couple of days in good ol' Tex-ass for training. Got in a bit late last night and wasn't able to do much tonight since I needed to get some work done. Did manage to get some quality time in with a dirty vodka martini, shaken and with 3 olives. Sad part was, the olives weren't garlic stuffed :-( Needless to say, the journey getting here was much more torturous than the time spent here thus far.

The plane ride from SLC was delayed as usual, but what I experienced on the plane was far more worse. This goes out to Elle... remember the hockey game when the little dude in front of us sharted his pants because he was too shy to take a dump in the hockey arena's restroom? And how the stench of fresh poo filled our nostrils like cement filling a fence post hole? Well, this plane ride was that experience multiplied by FOUR! I don't know who the culprit was, but his evil sphincter proceeded to open and close FOUR times, filling my sitting area with fresh poo scent! The first time it happened, the lady sitting next to me had left for the restroom and returned to find our area reeking of L'aire de shit! She proceeded to turn on her overhead fan, which led me to believe that perhaps she thought me to be the culprit! On the fourth deadly air blast, I heard the dude say behind me, "Boy, somebody's sure got some bad gas!" That was putting it politely! Needless to say, air does not escape easily from airplanes. Whew! That's all I gotta say about that incident! I feel a bit dirty for even recalling the whole dreadful experience...

Have you ever...

Have you ever looked at a chick and thought: "She looks like her name should be Trixie. Or maybe Babs."

You know when...

You know you're listening to a really kick ass song when you look in the rearview mirror of your car and see the person in the car behind you singing (or mouthing the words) to the same exact song without missing a word!

BTW - Top o' the mornin' to ya!

Blog Disclaimer

In light of recent news stories of people getting kicked out of college for their site on MySpace.com, and other stories along the same line, I'd like to add a disclaimer to this blog. To me, a blog is supporting documentation of one's interests and it is a point-in-time / living, online document. I do not claim responsibility for the words I wrote 1 year+ ago. Even though I may still feel or act the same way today, as exhibited in some 1+ year old posts, I am not 100% the same. People change over time and as a result, the blog recordings grow with the person. Therefore, I am adding this disclaimer to my blog.

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The information in this blog is alive and the author's opinion may be subject to change at any time. Access to this blog may be open and anyone reading this blog, in order to opine on the author's morals or personal beliefs, should corroborate the blog findings with additional evidence.

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County Line Road Bitchfest

I've noticed that the more I travel and the older I get, there are certain things that have become hard to tolerate. When I was younger, the idea of having a comfortable bed to sleep in or the comforts of a nice hotel room were foreign to me; basically a bed was a bed and a room was a room. The same goes for restrooms; I was happy as long as there was a toilet and toilet paper. But things have changed and I've grown accustomed to "my way" of living to the extent that I notice when things don't meet my expectations. Below is a growing list of "intolerables" that have begun to get on my nerves.

- Hotel cleaning services replacing the bar of soap after 1 day of use. If I'm staying multiple days, I can re-use the same bar. Besides, it's just plain wasteful!
- Hotel cleaning services re-arranging my stuff. Par exemple: while in SF I was rooming with a co-worker and the cleaning service moved my razor around in the shower. I don't know what took place during the epic "Razor Move of 2006", but somehow the strip above the razors got moved so it was covering the razors. Talk about a rude awakening in the a.m.
- Bathroom stalls that aren't long enough. I don't like hitting my knees against the door while sitting; unless I'm trying to keep the door closed.
- Women who don't flush the sanitation seat cover after usage. It's nice they leave the cover on to let other's know the seat was covered, but I don't need to know it.
- Poo skid marks in the toilet bowl. Again, I don't wanna see it!
- Sneezy, sick people on long plane rides (4+ hrs). So far I'm 2-0 for getting sick after long flights. Guess I should have doubled up on the Airborne!

Let me make it clear that I'm not dissing on hotel cleaning staff. It is a very hard job and I appreciate my room being clean and my bed being made. I just have issues: I'm whiny, like to complain and have high expectations. Poor, sweet Beau :-) I often thank him for putting up with me :-)

Book of Mormon Belt

The other side of the US of A has the wonderful Bible Belt. Here, we have what I've dubbed the "Book of Mormon Belt" (BOMB). Yes, I chuckled a bit after realizing what the acronym spelled. Watch out, cuz this BOMB is gonna explode!!! Too funny :-) My travels with work have taken me to this cold BOMB, but it's not too bad. I've got Internet, TV and books. Seems that I watch a lot more TV while on the road. I'd like to dig into my latest reads, "Freakonomics" but the whole brain dead, tv watching can get pretty addicting!

Just 2 weeks ago, I was bathed in cultural, diversified delight while in San Fran. Great town! Since we were staying by the wharf, I got to hit all the hot spots throughout the week: Chinatown (beware the Chinaman who whistles the national anthem after-dark), Little Italy (ate at a great Italian restaurant, complete with locals), Pier 39, Ghiradelli Square and last but not least (in order to fulfill what Elle calls my "gay fetish")... drum roll... CASTRO!!! What a kick ass place (or punch ass - whatever your fancy)! Great prices for sushi & hot sake, the shops were VERY educational w/staff on-hand to answer any questions ranging from: "What is that for?" to "How many people really buy this?" One new thing I learned was: there is a toolkit that contains varying sizes of tools/toys to put in a dude's peepee hole. Yeah, I realize there's a more apropos word for it, but peepee hole sounds kinda cute ;-) We asked the dude and he said he didn't get it either; he knew people who tried, but it wasn't for him. Nice deets!

Other non-BOMBastic delights:
- The beau is "officially" moved in. Now I just have to get the rest of the house in order :-)
- Chopped off all the long locks thanks to Miss G-Thang (it was a phased approach). Cute, but still need to have more time to play around with styles.
- Hulk Hogan STILL looks the SAME! What does this dude do?!?!?
- Whatever happened to the little girl who was in "My Girl"?
- I despise dorkasses who spam Blogger comments.

Next stop... Dall-ASS located in wonderful Tex-ASS! Probably have dinner with the dad - 'twould be nice as long as he's sans bat.